sometimes i wish i didnt lose my flare with guys. i have fallen to quickly for diego and clearly, he only wants to have sex with me. i am convinced that he hasn't seen me because we haven't had sex yet. we've been doing the good old fashioned dirty talk via bbm. sometimes he's sweet, sometimes hes...not even paying attention. i wonder how many other girls there are that i share him with. i wonder how many girls there are that he drives an hour to see. if i wasn't such an inspector gadget or carmen sandiego, snooping around, nit and picking everything i see him do. am i wrong for wanting someone to fully be committed to me, even if we're not in a relationship? is it normal for me to feel like every man i talk to, has a lack of respect for me? it can't be me. it cant be that i am giving myself too much. i feel so selfless. am i not worth being solid for? i am afraid of dying lonely and unmarried. being too careless in my youth will make me suffer when i am old. i dont want to keep guessing with diego. he says im more important than someone to solely have sex with, but he shows me otherwise. it's an emotional game with him. for me, atleast...